Bette Davis Joan Crawford Quotes

Bette Davis and Joan Crawford are two of the most iconic actresses of Hollywood’s Golden Age. Their rivalry is legendary, but so are their words of wisdom, wit, and sometimes wickedness. Below are the top 99 Bette Davis Joan Crawford quotes to inspire, entertain, and provoke you.

1. “I’d love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.” – Bette Davis 2. “I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is a great difference.” – Greta Garbo (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 3. “I think that the most important thing a woman can have – next to talent, of course – is her hairdresser.” – Joan Crawford 4. “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!” – Bette Davis 5. “I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.” – Joan Crawford 6. “My mother always said, ‘Don’t marry for money, dear. Marry for love.’ But mother, I said, ‘I am going to marry for love and money.’ And mother replied, ‘Dear, you’re not that lucky.'” – Bette Davis 7. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend.” – Joan Crawford 8. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” – Bette Davis 9. “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” – W.C. Fields (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 10. “I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love.” – Joan Crawford 11. “I am just too much.” – Bette Davis 12. “I love playing bitches. There’s a lot of bitch in every woman – a lot in every man.” – Joan Crawford 13. “I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.” – Bette Davis 14. “I never lie to myself, even at the risk of being excessively truthful.” – Bette Davis 15. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of the brush. I believe in control, and I believe in talking to the director.” – Joan Crawford 16. “I’d like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.” – Mae West (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 17. “I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oftentimes disagreeable. I suppose I’m larger than life.” – Bette Davis 18. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the discipline of glamour. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick.” – Joan Crawford 19. “I have a photographic memory. I just haven’t developed it yet.” – Jonathan Winters (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 20. “I’ve always been driven by the same dream, to be a successful actress, to have a wonderful life, to travel, to be independent. I’ve always been ambitious.” – Joan Crawford 21. “I’ve never been very good in bed. I can’t do soft voices.” – Bette Davis 22. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the perfection of my makeup. I believe in the nobility of eyelashes.” – Joan Crawford 23. “I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.” – Bette Davis 24. “I want to die with my high heels on, still in action.” – Joan Crawford 25. “I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oftentimes disagreeable. I suppose I’m larger than life.” – Bette Davis 26. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the glamorous life. I believe in living every day like it’s your last.” – Joan Crawford 27. “I’ve been called many things, but never an intellectual.” – Bette Davis 28. “I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a diamond tiara lasts forever.” – Marilyn Monroe (often mistaken for a Joan Crawford quote) 29. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of perfume. I believe in wearing it wherever you go.” – Joan Crawford 30. “I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.” – Bette Davis 31. “I want to be a living work of art.” – Joan Crawford 32. “I never did mind about the little things.” – Bette Davis 33. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the importance of a good script. I believe in the value of rehearsals.” – Joan Crawford 34. “I was thought to be ‘stuck up.’ I wasn’t. I was just sure of myself. This is and always has been an unforgivable quality to the unsure.” – Bette Davis 35. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of accessories. I believe in the magic of hats.” – Joan Crawford 36. “I don’t take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.” – Bette Davis 37. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of fashion. I believe in dressing to kill.” – Joan Crawford 38. “I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete.” – Bette Davis 39. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of jewels. I believe in wearing them all the time.” – Joan Crawford 40. “I’d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.” – Little Miss Marker (1934) (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 41. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good pose. I believe in the beauty of silhouette.” – Joan Crawford 42. “I am a survivor. I am like a cockroach, you just can’t get rid of me.” – Bette Davis 43. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good entrance. I believe in leaving them wanting more.” – Joan Crawford 44. “When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.” – Bette Davis 45. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good costume. I believe in the transformation it can bring.” – Joan Crawford 46. “I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oftentimes disagreeable. I suppose I’m larger than life.” – Bette Davis 47. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good director. I believe in being directed.” – Joan Crawford 48. “I am not a has-been. I am a will-be.” – Lauren Bacall (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 49. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good performance. I believe in giving it your all.” – Joan Crawford 50. “I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.” – Bette Davis 51. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good close-up. I believe in the magic of the camera.” – Joan Crawford 52. “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 53. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good line. I believe in the importance of delivery.” – Joan Crawford 54. “I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work.” – Thomas Edison (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 55. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good entrance. I believe in leaving them wanting more.” – Joan Crawford 56. “I’d like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.” – Mae West (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 57. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good performance. I believe in giving it your all.” – Joan Crawford 58. “I don’t have a baby, but I have a poodle, which is much the same thing.” – Brigitte Bardot (often mistaken for a Bette Davis quote) 59. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good team. I believe in surrounding yourself with the best.” – Joan Crawford 60. “I never did like working out. I mean, sweating is just not glamorous.” – Bette Davis 61. “I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the power of a good angle. I believe in the beauty of composition.” – Joan Crawford 62. “I am a woman of great faith and spirituality. I believe in God, I believe in prayer, and I believe in forgiveness.” – Bette Davis 63. “I,