Top 99 Dumb Quotes That Make No Sense

Are you ready to laugh and scratch your head at the same time? Look no further than our top 99 dumb quotes that make no sense! From famous figures to everyday people, these quotes will leave you wondering what they were thinking.

1. “I know I’m not going to be in your head all the time. But once you know me, I’ll be forever in your heart.” – Crystal Woods
2. “I can’t go on, I’ll go on.” – Samuel Beckett
3. “I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.” – Jack Handey
4. “I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” – Steven Wright
5. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
6. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
7. “I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Bob Monkhouse
8. “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” – Douglas Adams
9. “I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.” – Noel Coward
10. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
11. “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
12. “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
13. “I can’t even explain it to myself, so how could I explain it to anyone else?” – Bob Dylan
14. “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
15. “I’m not a genius. I’m just a tremendous bundle of experience.” – R. Buckminster Fuller
16. “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” – Carl Sandburg
17. “I’m sorry, but having a snake around is exactly my idea of having a good time.” – Alice Cooper
18. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
19. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
20. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing
21. “I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.” – Lisa Simpson
22. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
23. “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – Bilbo Baggins
24. “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton
25. “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.” – Jay-Z
26. “I’m not a psychopath, Anderson. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.” – Sherlock Holmes
27. “I’m not sure if I’m depressed. I mean, I’m not sad, but I’m not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I’m alone at night I forget how to feel.” – Unknown
28. “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” – Art Williams
29. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.” – Unknown
30. “I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
31. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
32. “I’m not confused. I’m just well mixed.” – Robert Frost
33. “I’m not the kind of person who tries to be cool or trendy, I’m definitely an individual.” – Leonardo DiCaprio
34. “I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.” – Unknown
35. “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” – Unknown
36. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
37. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
38. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
39. “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’… There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” – Maya Angelou
40. “I’m not a paranoid deranged millionaire. God damnit, I’m a billionaire.” – Howard Hughes
41. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
42. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
43. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
44. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
45. “I don’t know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.” – Marilyn Monroe
46. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
47. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
48. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
49. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
50. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
51. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
52. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
53. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
54. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
55. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
56. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
57. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
58. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
59. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
60. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
61. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
62. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
63. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
64. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
65. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
66. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
67. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
68. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
69. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals