Top 99 Funny Quotes About Heat And Humidity

When the sun is beating down and the air is thick with humidity, it can be hard to keep your spirits up. But sometimes, a good laugh is all you need to make it through the heat. Here are the top 99 funny quotes about heat and humidity:

1. “I sweat so much in the summer, I feel like a popsicle melting in the sun.” 2. “It’s not the heat that gets to me, it’s the humidity. It’s like walking through a bowl of soup.” 3. “I’m not saying it’s hot outside, but my AC just said ‘I can’t even.'” 4. “I’m pretty sure I could fry an egg on the sidewalk…if it didn’t evaporate first.” 5. “I’m not sweating, I’m just glistening. Like a glazed donut.” 6. “I need a shower just from walking to my car.” 7. “The only thing hotter than the temperature outside is my temper when my AC breaks.” 8. “I’m so hot, I feel like I’m living in a sauna.” 9. “Summer is like a sauna…but without the relaxing steam.” 10. “The humidity is so high, even my hair is sweating.” 11. “I’m not sure if I’m sweating or crying…probably both.” 12. “I’m pretty sure the sun is trying to kill me.” 13. “I’m not sure if I need sunscreen or a fire extinguisher.” 14. “I’m sweating more than a politician during a debate.” 15. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lost 10 pounds just from sweating.” 16. “I’m not sure if I’m sweating or if it’s raining…either way, I need a boat.” 17. “The only thing that can cool me down is the thought of winter.” 18. “It’s so hot, even the devil is like ‘dang, take it down a notch.'” 19. “I’m pretty sure I could cook a full meal on my dashboard.” 20. “I’m trying to stay cool, but my patience is wearing thin.” 21. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a hug from my AC unit.” 22. “I’m sweating like a sinner in church.” 23. “I’m pretty sure I’m one degree away from spontaneous combustion.” 24. “I’m not sure if I’m sweating or if I’m just crying from the heat.” 25. “I’m pretty sure I’m melting…oh wait, that’s just my makeup.” 26. “I’m not sure if I need a glass of water or a bucket of ice.” 27. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the toxins in my body…and then some.” 28. “It’s so hot, I feel like I’m living on the surface of the sun.” 29. “I’m not sure if I need a fan or a helicopter to cool me down.” 30. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a marathon runner.” 31. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold shower…maybe both?” 32. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad decisions I’ve ever made.” 33. “I’m not sure if I’m sweating or if it’s just my body protesting the heat.” 34. “I’m pretty sure I’m getting a sunburn…in the shade.” 35. “I’m not sure if I need a cold compress or a cold beer.” 36. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a glass of iced tea on a summer day.” 37. “I’m not sure if I need a beach vacation or a snow day.” 38. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the secrets I’ve ever kept.” 39. “I’m not sure if I need a nap or a cold shower…or both.” 40. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a politician during an election.” 41. “I’m not sure if I need a beach umbrella or a personal fan.” 42. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the regrets I’ve ever had.” 43. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold compress for my forehead.” 44. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a pro athlete in the fourth quarter.” 45. “I’m not sure if I need a vacation or a personal glacier.” 46. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad karma I’ve ever accrued.” 47. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold towel on my neck.” 48. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a chef in a busy kitchen.” 49. “I’m not sure if I need a margarita or a popsicle. Actually, both.” 50. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the toxins in my body…and some other people’s too.” 51. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit or a personal ice bath.” 52. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a dog in a fur coat.” 53. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold compress for my wrists.” 54. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad vibes in the universe.” 55. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold beer…or both.” 56. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a firefighter in a burning building.” 57. “I’m not sure if I need a personal misting fan or a personal ice sculpture.” 58. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad luck I’ve ever had.” 59. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold shower…or a cold drink IN the shower.” 60. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a marathon runner in the final mile.” 61. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit or a personal snow machine.” 62. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the negative energy in my life.” 63. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold towel on my head.” 64. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a construction worker in July.” 65. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold pool to jump into.” 66. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad juju in the world.” 67. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold margarita.” 68. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a soldier in basic training.” 69. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit or a personal ice rink.” 70. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad energy in the atmosphere.” 71. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold shower…or a cold drink IN the cold shower.” 72. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a construction worker on a skyscraper.” 73. “I’m not sure if I need a personal misting fan or a personal snowstorm.” 74. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad vibes in the universe…and some other galaxies too.” 75. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold glass of lemonade.” 76. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a firefighter in a forest fire.” 77. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit or a personal igloo.” 78. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad karma in the multiverse.” 79. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold shower…or a cold drink IN the cold shower, while singing ‘Let It Go’.” 80. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a pro athlete in the final seconds of the game.” 81. “I’m not sure if I need a personal misting fan or a personal blizzard.” 82. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad energy in the galaxy.” 83. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold glass of sweet tea.” 84. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a miner in a coal mine.” 85. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit or a personal ski slope.” 86. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad vibes in the cosmos.” 87. “I’m not sure if I need a cold drink or a cold shower…or a cold drink IN the cold shower, while singing ‘I Will Survive’.” 88. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a chef in a Michelin-starred restaurant.” 89. “I’m not sure if I need a personal misting fan or a personal hailstorm.” 90. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating out all the bad karma in the universe…and some alternate universes too.” 91. “I’m not sure if I need a cold shower or a cold glass of iced coffee.” 92. “I’m pretty sure I’m sweating more than a baseball player in the final inning.” 93. “I’m not sure if I need a personal AC unit