Top 99 Funny Quotes From Pirates Of The Caribbean

Looking for a good laugh? Check out these funny quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean! Whether you’re a fan of the movies or just in need of a good chuckle, these quotes are sure to make you smile.

1. “Why is the rum always gone?” – Jack Sparrow
2. “You are without doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.” “But you have heard of me.” – Commodore Norrington and Jack Sparrow
3. “I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.” – Jack Sparrow
4. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” – Jack Sparrow
5. “I’m not a eunuch.” “I’m just saying, eunuchs are trustworthy.” – Gibbs and Jack Sparrow
6. “I’m not sure. I’m not exactly familiar with the layout of this place. And with the prison fog and all, it’s not exactly easy to… Why is the rum always gone?” – Jack Sparrow
7. “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?” – Jack Sparrow
8. “I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.” – Jack Sparrow
9. “You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest.” – Jack Sparrow
10. “It’s not the problem that’s the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” – Jack Sparrow
11. “I’m not a fan of wearing clothes.” – Jack Sparrow
12. “I’ve got a jar of dirt! I’ve got a jar of dirt! And guess what’s inside it?” – Jack Sparrow
13. “You know that feeling you get when you’re standing in a high place… sudden urge to jump?… I don’t have it.” – Jack Sparrow
14. “Worry about your own fortunes, gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.” – Barbossa
15. “We named the monkey Jack.” – Barbossa
16. “I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no.” – Barbossa
17. “You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner. You’re in one!” – Barbossa
18. “Why thank you, Jack. You’re welcome.” – Barbossa
19. “You cheated!” “Pirate.” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
20. “I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.” – Jack Sparrow
21. “I’m a little busy at the moment.” “Captain, I’m going to need you to take a look at this.” “I’m not a doctor.” – Jack Sparrow and Gibbs
22. “I’m not a mathematician.” “Stay calm, Gibbs.” “I am calm.” “That’s not the same as being sober.” – Jack Sparrow and Gibbs
23. “That’s the second time I’ve had to watch that man sail away with my ship.” “But you were marooned on this island before, weren’t you, Commodore? So you have something in common with him, after all.” – Commodore Norrington and Jack Sparrow
24. “I’m not sure I deserve that.” “Ah, you do, mate.” “I’m not a eunuch.” – Gibbs, Jack Sparrow, and Will Turner
25. “You know, for all that pirates are clever clogs, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.” – Elizabeth Swann
26. “You’re supposed to be dead!” “Am I not?” – Barbossa and Jack Sparrow
27. “You can tell them that the Black Pearl was taken by a giant squid. And then they’ll believe that, won’t they?” “Better than them knowing the truth.” – Jack Sparrow and Gibbs
28. “I’m not a religious man, but I do have a sense of right and wrong. And I know that stealing is wrong.” “Ah, then it’s a good thing we’re not stealing. We’re just taking back what was rightfully stolen from us.” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
29. “You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.” “We are without a doubt the worst pirates I’ve ever heard of.” – Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann
30. “I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t trust you.” “I understand. It’s a hard life being me. It won’t be easy for you either.” – Elizabeth Swann and Jack Sparrow
31. “You’re mad!” “Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn’t, this would probably never work.” – Elizabeth Swann and Jack Sparrow
32. “I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t know it was you.” “You didn’t know it was me? Who else do you think would be sneaking about the Black Pearl?” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
33. “You’re not making any sense at all.” “Unfortunately, my compass is still broken.” – Elizabeth Swann and Jack Sparrow
34. “I’m not sure I deserve that.” “Well, you almost got us killed. I think I’m entitled.” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
35. “You’re off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters.” – Jack Sparrow
36. “I’m curious. After killing me, what is it you’re planning on doing next?” “Nothing, really. Just sit there and watch you die.” “I can think of better uses for my time.” – Jack Sparrow and Barbossa
37. “You can’t just step from one world into another. You have to have some kind of key.” “Not if you’re me.” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
38. “I am not obsessed with treasure.” “Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.” – Elizabeth Swann and Jack Sparrow
39. “You have no idea how difficult it was to get that monkey to pose for that picture.” – Jack Sparrow
40. “I’m not a man with many principles, but I do have one. Never betray a friend.” – Jack Sparrow
41. “I’m not sure I deserved that.” “You’re not. But that’s the thing with pirates. We don’t really deserve anything, do we?” – Jack Sparrow and Gibbs
42. “You really don’t know when to give up, do you?” “I have faith in you. I just don’t trust you.” – Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow
43. “I’m not sorry for anything.” “Neither am I. Except for this.” – Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann
44. “You don’t know what this is, do you?” “It’s a compass.” “Ah, you’ve seen one before.” “Yes. I’m curious. Why do you have it?” “It’s a compass, Will, that doesn’t point north.” – Will Turner and Jack Sparrow
45. “I’m not sure I deserved that.” “You deserved it. You lied to me by telling me the truth.” – Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones
46. “I’m not a man to be trifled with.” “I’m not a woman to be trifled with, either.” – Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann
47. “I’m not entirely sure that I’ve had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.” – Jack Sparrow
48. “I’m not entirely sure that I haven’t.” – Jack Sparrow
49. “I’m not entirely sure that I want to.” – Jack Sparrow
50. “I’m not entirely sure that I should.” – Jack Sparrow
51. “I’m not entirely sure that I can.” – Jack Sparrow
52. “I’m not entirely sure that I will.” – Jack Sparrow
53. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m not.” – Jack Sparrow
54. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely sure.” – Jack Sparrow
55. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely certain.” – Jack Sparrow
56. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely sober.” – Jack Sparrow
57. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely sane.” – Jack Sparrow
58. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely alive.” – Jack Sparrow
59. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely dead.” – Jack Sparrow
60. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m entirely human.” – Jack Spar