Funny Retirement Quotes For Coworkers

Retirement is a time to relax and enjoy the fruits of one’s labor. It’s also a time to celebrate with coworkers who are retiring. If you’re looking for funny retirement quotes for coworkers or ideas on how to celebrate this milestone event, you’ve come to the right place. Here are the top 99 funny retirement quotes for coworkers and the top 10 ideas and tips for celebrating the occasion.

Top 99 Funny Retirement Quotes For Coworkers

1. “Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” – Anonymous
2. “I’m not retiring, I’m just going to stop working.” – Anonymous
3. “Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.” – Anonymous
4. “You know you’re retired when you’re spending more money on medication than on food.” – Anonymous
5. “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
6. “Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.” – Anonymous
7. “Retirement is the time when you can tell your boss to take this job and shove it – and not have to worry about the consequences.” – Anonymous
8. “Retirement is the time when you realize that happiness is not in having more money, but in having more time.” – Anonymous
9. “Retirement is the time when you can finally do all the things you never had time for when you were working – like taking a nap in the middle of the day.” – Anonymous
10. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start living your life on your own terms.” – Anonymous
11. “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret
12. “Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.” – Anonymous
13. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing the things you always wanted to do – like sleeping in until noon.” – Anonymous
14. “Retirement: It’s not just about the money, it’s about the freedom to do what you want, when you want.” – Anonymous
15. “Retirement is like a permanent weekend, except that you get to sleep in every day.” – Anonymous
16. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start enjoying the simple pleasures of life – like a good book and a comfortable chair.” – Anonymous
17. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start living your dreams – unless your dreams involve a lot of money.” – Anonymous
18. “Retirement is like a second childhood, except that you’re still old.” – Anonymous
19. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start acting your age – or not.” – Anonymous
20. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you always said you were going to do – like take up gardening, or learn to play the piano.” – Anonymous
21. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start taking care of yourself – instead of taking care of everyone else.” – Anonymous
22. “Retirement: Life’s encore performance.” – Anonymous
23. “Retirement is like a full-time vacation, except that you don’t get paid.” – Anonymous
24. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start living the life you’ve always imagined – unless you imagined a life of luxury.” – Anonymous
25. “Retirement is like a never-ending weekend, except that you don’t have to go back to work on Monday.” – Anonymous
26. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you didn’t have time for when you were working – like watching daytime TV.” – Anonymous
27. “Retirement is like a long weekend in Vegas. Except you can’t lose your life savings.” – Anonymous
28. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start working on your bucket list – unless your bucket list is too expensive.” – Anonymous
29. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start taking it easy – unless you have grandkids.” – Anonymous
30. “Retirement: The art of never having to set an alarm clock again.” – Anonymous
31. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you always wanted to do – like clean out the garage.” – Anonymous
32. “Retirement is like a long vacation in the Caribbean, except that you don’t have to worry about sunburn or hurricanes.” – Anonymous
33. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like watching paint dry.” – Anonymous
34. “Retirement is like a second childhood, except that you’re smarter and have more money.” – Anonymous
35. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like watching grass grow.” – Anonymous
36. “Retirement is like a permanent snow day, except that you don’t have to shovel the driveway.” – Anonymous
37. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like playing bingo.” – Anonymous
38. “Retirement is like a long lunch break, except that it lasts for the rest of your life.” – Anonymous
39. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like watching clouds.” – Anonymous
40. “Retirement is like a long weekend, except that you don’t have to go back to work on Tuesday.” – Anonymous
41. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like taking a bubble bath.” – Anonymous
42. “Retirement is like a second chance to do all the things you didn’t have time for the first time around.” – Anonymous
43. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like taking a nap.” – Anonymous
44. “Retirement is like a long weekend, except that you don’t have to spend all your money on a hotel.” – Anonymous
45. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like watching ants.” – Anonymous
46. “Retirement is like a long summer vacation, except that it lasts forever.” – Anonymous
47. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like reading the dictionary.” – Anonymous
48. “Retirement is like a permanent happy hour, except that you have to provide your own drinks.” – Anonymous
49. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like taking a walk in the park.” – Anonymous
50. “Retirement is like a never-ending coffee break, except that you don’t have to go back to work.” – Anonymous
51. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like watching the grass grow.” – Anonymous
52. “Retirement is like a long weekend, except that you don’t have to worry about getting stuck in traffic.” – Anonymous
53. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like playing solitaire.” – Anonymous
54. “Retirement is like a permanent vacation, except that you have to cook your own meals.” – Anonymous
55. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like staring at the ceiling.” – Anonymous
56. “Retirement is like a second honeymoon, except that you don’t have to worry about the kids.” – Anonymous
57. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like playing with your cat.” – Anonymous
58. “Retirement is like a long weekend, except that you don’t have to worry about running out of money.” – Anonymous
59. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like taking a yoga class.” – Anonymous
60. “Retirement is like a permanent siesta, except that you have to wake up sometime.” – Anonymous
61. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like learning to juggle.” – Anonymous
62. “Retirement is like a long vacation, except that you don’t have to worry about packing a suitcase.” – Anonymous
63. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like playing chess.” – Anonymous
64. “Retirement is like a second childhood, except that you have to pay your own way.” – Anonymous
65. “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you never had time for – like taking a bike ride.” – Anonymous
66. “Retirement is like a never-ending weekend, except that you don’t have to do any yard work.” – Anonymous
67. “Retirement is the time when you