Top 99 Funny Status Updates For Facebook:

Looking for some hilarious and witty status updates that will make your Facebook friends laugh out loud? Look no further! Here are the top 99 funny status updates that everyone on Facebook will love:

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
3. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
5. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
6. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
7. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
8. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
9. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
10. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
11. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
12. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
14. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
15. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
16. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
17. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
19. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
20. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
21. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
22. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
23. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
24. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
25. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
26. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
27. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
28. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
29. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
30. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
31. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
32. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
33. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
34. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
35. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
36. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
37. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
38. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
39. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
40. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
41. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
42. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
43. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
44. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
45. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
46. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
47. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
48. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
49. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
50. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
51. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
52. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
53. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
54. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
55. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
56. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
57. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
58. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
59. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
60. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
61. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
62. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
63. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
64. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
65. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
66. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
67. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
68. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
69. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
70. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
71. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
72. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
73. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
74. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
75. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
76. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
77. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
78. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
79. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
80. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
81. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
82. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
83. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
84. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
85. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
86. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
87. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
88. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
89. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
90. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
91. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
92. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
93. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three or four times, just to be sure.
94. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
95. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
96. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
97. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
98. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
99. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
100. I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
101. I’m not lazy. I’m just conserving energy.
102. I’m not arguing. I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
103. I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
104. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad