Quotes About Husbands

Here are the top 99 funny quotes about husbands and wives:

1. “My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.” – Joyce Brothers
2. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
3. “I told my husband I wanted a baby. We’re gonna try, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll just continue to have sex.” – Chelsea Handler
4. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Unknown
5. “Husbands are like wine; they take time to mature.” – Unknown
6. “A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.” – Honore de Balzac
7. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
8. “My husband is my best friend. No one knows me better than he does.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones
9. “I told my husband he was too controlling… and he said, ‘I’m not controlling, you just have terrible taste.'” – Unknown
10. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

11. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
12. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx
13. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield
14. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
15. “I love you more than wine, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Unknown
16. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Milton Berle
17. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
18. “My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield
19. “A wife is someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.” – Unknown
20. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld

1. Host a game night with friends and family where you play a game that involves funny quotes about husbands and wives.
2. Create a photo album or scrapbook featuring funny quotes about husbands and wives, along with pictures of you and your spouse or significant other.
3. Plan a movie night with romantic comedies that feature funny quotes about husbands and wives.
4. Make a funny video together with your spouse or significant other, using some of the quotes as inspiration.
5. Organize a dinner party with a humorous theme, such as a roast of each other using some of the quotes.
6. Create personalized gifts for each other that feature your favorite funny quotes about husbands and wives.
7. Make a list of your favorite quotes and use them as inspiration for writing love letters to each other.
8. Design and print out funny quote-themed t-shirts or mugs to give to each other as a gift.
9. Plan a weekend getaway to a comedy club or festival featuring comedians who use funny quotes about husbands and wives in their routines.
10. Start a social media account dedicated to sharing funny quotes about husbands and wives, and invite your friends and family to follow and contribute their own favorites.